Last evening I was the victim of a 5 member Inquisition Panel.
The event occurred at a friends’ party, a home where we have frequently been entertained over the past many years.
Two of the panel, a husband and wife, were known to me in passing, the other three I met for the first time last night…another couple and a single female - I will call the single female from here-on-in, as Madame Defarge of French Revolution fame.
My wife and I arrived at the Party at about 6 p.m. and being on the introverted side, I headed for the living room where there were fewer people and the volume much less.
A fire was blazing in the hearth and two couches faced each other, one contained the 5 member panel, so I took the empty one facing them.
We talked pleasantries as one might expect whereupon Panel Member 3 directed the following question to me:
“I suppose you are a Harper supporter”.
No, I said, I like much of what he stands for and admit he is best of the lot but I have some issues with him so the word ‘supporter’ may be too strong.
Not to be deterred, she followed up with “well then, what do you think of his lack of support for the environment”? All 10 eyes were upon me.
I could immediately see where this was going so jumped in:
“If you mean his lack of support for the CO2 nonsense, I am all for him.”
Why, you would have thought I just called them all liars and cheats, with Madame Defarge extending a scowl my way which would have withered an oak.
They then fired at my direction, saying it was proven science that CO2 causes Climate Change!
I countered by saying it was nothing of the sort and then reviewed the following history:
First, you guys warned that the ozone layer was disappearing and we’d all burn up from cosmic rays;
When that was proven false, you migrated to Global Cooling, we were all going to freeze in our beds;
With that was debunked you went on to Global Warming and again it came to nought.
And now Climate Change.
“And with that, I am in agreement … climate has been changing since the beginning of time”.
Not to be deterred, they fought back, so you do not see Climate Change originating from the actions of man?
Not particularly, I responded.
You could see their collective blood pressures rise.
I went on, “I am more concerned with pollution generally … in our water, our air and in the food we eat – have you seen the smog affecting the big cities of China – that is not CO2 per se – it is ash, soot, dirt, and a cocktail of chemicals ---that’s what really needs to be cleaned up”.
“To spend $trillions on a colourless, odourless gas seems to be a monumental waste of money – money which could better spent elsewhere”.
They looked at each other in utter disbelief. Madame Defarge retained her glare.
Then Panel number 1 spoke up. “You will though, have to agree with us that Monsanto controls the world’s governments”. Full Stop.
I thought to myself what in the heck does Monsanto have to do with Climate Change but took it in stride and said, “that may be a slight exaggeration”.
Panel member number 1 went on..”don’t tell us that you are not aware of the fact that there are mass protests against Monsanto on a daily basis around the world?”
I allowed that I was not aware of such – and queried where today’s demonstration had occurred. Number 1 was silent. Or for that matter, where did one occur within the last week. More silence.
I told number 1 that I read 3 newspapers per day and listen to the daily news and for the life of me, could not recall a Monsanto protest within the last year. Could he?
More silence. At that point, panel member number 1 got up and left the room never to return.
Panel Member Number 4 then entered the fray…”Then I suppose you are not aware of what Monsanto did in India?”
Visions of dead people lying in the streets ran through my mind – stricken by genetically modified carrots. But in for a penny …”No I am not aware of this, what happened?”
Well the farmers in India were having trouble with their crop productivity and invited Monsanto to provide them with GM seeds.
“So what happened”, I asked, fearing the worse.
“They had bumper crops”.
Bumper Crops?
Yeah, bumper crops.
And that’s bad?
Well no, but the following year Monsanto made the farmers buy their seeds from them again.
And that’s, wrong?
Of course it is, the farmers should have been able to keep their left-over seeds and grow them themselves.
What about all the Research and Development that Monsanto put in to its seed development? Should it not get a decent return on its investment?
Where were these folks from …Mars?
So let me get this straight, farmers in India were having trouble growing their crops, Monsanto sold them seeds which gave them an abundance and then wanted the farmers to buy seeds from them in the future i.e. from the profits realized on the sale of their produce.
Is that not what Capitalism is all about?
Apparently not for this crew.
This had gone on for over an hour at which point Anne came in to the room – Anne being more extroverted than me and said she had heard I was causing all sorts of trouble.
The Inquisition was over.
On the way home I said, you know Anne, that was fun, let’s go to that party again next year.
I then chuckled, why I even called Panel Member Number 4 the ‘Chief Flat Head’.
You did what?
It was only after he led off his first question by calling my the ‘Head Flat Earther’.
Oh well, in that case you did the right thing.
I just smiled.
People can be funny.
As I see it…
‘K.D. Galagher’
