I have had an arrangement with a local chiropractor here in Ottawa and part of that arrangement is that he bills directly to my one and only and seldom used credit card.
Well the chiropractor did such a good job that most of my aches and pains have vanished so I decided to discontinue treatment.
Given that I do not trust computer programs etc. I thought that it would be safe to call my credit card provider and ask them to de-authorize this monthly charge – i.e although I trust my chiropractor – it would not surprise me in the least if further charges inadvertently got charged to my credit card account.
With that brief background, let’s now listen in on my call to the Credit Card Company:
Nice lady answers the phone and I explain that I wish to de-authorize the regular monthly payment to my chiropractor.
Nice lady responds “No can do”.
“Why not ?” I reply.
“Because you have an agreement with your chiropractor to make these monthly payments” she informs me.
“But that agreement is between my chiropractor and myself and has nothing to do with your credit card company”.
“Sorry” she says.
“Okay then – let’s just cancel my card – I can at least do that, can’t I ?”
“You most certainly can sir but it won’t stop the monthly deductions” she asserts.
“Let me get this straight – I can cancel my card with you but you will still honour the monthly deduction”.
“Precisely” she states.
“Dear lady I have a contract with your credit card company – I decide to whom I want you to make payments and in return for that I pay your monthly statement. Why I have decided that you cease making payments to my chiropractor is quite frankly none of your company’s business”.
This is met with silence.
“Make I speak with your manager”
In due course her manager comes on the line.
“May I help you”.
I explain what I had earlier explained to their lady agent and her manager begins with the following …
“Your agreement with your chiropractor has nothing to do with us”.
“Finally” I reply – “we are in agreement”.
“So what I can do for you?” manager inquires.
“De-authorize the monthly payment”
“No can do” he responds.
“Why not” says I.
“You have approved the monthly deduction” he states.
“Yes I have and now I want de-approve it”.
“You have to cancel it with them first” he responds.
“Okay then, just cancel the card”.
“Won’t do you any good since we will still honour the monthly charges as they come in”.
“You have to be kidding – as you stated at the beginning my contract with the chiropractor and my contract with your company are two distinct contracts… they have nothing to do with one another.”
“You are quite correct but we will still process the monthly charge”.
“Even when my card is cancelled”.
“Correct”
“Well sir, you can go ahead and do that – just don’t expect me to pay your monthly statement”.
“Your credit will be damaged sir”.
“And I will let the Credit Bureau know of the stupidity leading up to it”.
Silence.
“Okay how do you see this being handled” I asked with frustration.
“Cancel your contract with your chiropractor and then let us know at which point we can de-authorize the monthly charge to your credit card”
“And how do you suggest I go about cancelling that contract”
“That is entirely between you and your chiropractor … your contract with him has nothing to do with us”.
“But you just told me to cancel that contract and then you will de-authorize the monthly payment – so I just want to make sure I cancel it in a way in which your company finds acceptable. For instance, can I cancel the contract by telephone?”
“Yes you can”.
And then I call you and tell you the contract has been cancelled”.
“Precisely”
“But how can I prove it has been cancelled other than by my telling you it has?”
“We will ascertain at that point whether or not a telephone cancellation is sufficient”.
“So it may not be sufficient”
“Precisely – we will have to involve another department here to determine that.”
“Can I speak to that other department now – so I can avoid any mis-steps”.
“No – you must first cancel your contract with your chiropractor”
“And this is the contract that your credit card company has no interest in”.
“Precisely”
“Have you ever watched the skit between Abbot and Costello called ‘Who’s On First’ ?”
“No – I do not see how it would be relevant to our discussion Sir”
“Just listen to it”
As I see it …
‘K.D. Galagher’
