Though in our case, it should have been Alligators – Water Moccasins and Rattle Snakes.
For the past few weeks Anne and I have been vacationing in South Florida, on the cusp of the Everglades.
One fair day we decided to take an Air Boat Ride into the deepest darkest Glades.
With visions of the above critters racing through our minds, we doubled our Life Insurance and updated our Wills – then off we went.
We paid for an hour adventure and off we went with Billy-Bob (BB) our Guide.
We braced ourselves as BB twisted and turned and spun the craft in reckless abandon throughout the mighty swamp stopping at various strategic intervals to allow us to take in the sites.
After the third stop though I began to become suspicious that we were being ‘taken for a ride’ - so to speak.
At each stop – BB waxed elegant about the Flora – you know the unique trees and grasses and flowers that can be found within the Glades.
Okay I thought – what about the Man-Killing Reptiles –why were we talking about plants of all things – I was there to see these Killers.
So I asked Billy-Bob – “where the heck were they”?
“Not here” – he responded – the water was not fit for such animal life.
“Fish” – I asked?
“Not really” he replied – “only the odd bottom feeder”.
“Any Birds"?
“Not without Fish”.
So let me get this straight – we drove some distance and spent a considerable sum to take a ride through the renowned Everglades – to view plants!!
I was embarrassed – though Anne did not seem to mind. Chalk it up to the difference between men and women.
So I changed the topic with Billy-Bob, for no other reason than to move on from my disappointment.
“How do you keep from getting lost in here”? I asked. “It all looks the same”.
BB responded by saying he has it memorized.
“How can you possibly memorize miles and miles of swamp”? I asked.
Honest to a fault, Billy-Bob allowed that we had simply been covering and recovering the same ground (swamp). In fact, he told us, his company leases a rectangular piece of the Glades no longer than 1 /2 mile in length.
So once again I am crestfallen – here I had thought we had been let loose on miles and miles of untamed Swamp and now I find out we have been limited to a postage stamp size, well travelled and life devoid Parkette.
I was so glad to get back to civilization – back on the busy highways where true danger really lurks.
As I see it…
’Galagher’
