Wednesday, September 16, 2009

The 4 Canadian Leaders Finally Tell It Like It Is...

Behind Closed Doors That Is,



We often lament the fact that Politicians have great difficulty saying what they really think - that is to say, - telling the truth.



Let's go behind the scenes and see how they would explain their positions to their confidantes on whether or not they favour an early Election.



First, Mr. Harper:



H - I can just taste it. At long last I am within reach of a majority. Think what I will be able to do. If one of my Members screws this up by mouthing off- he's history.



C - Why Stephen, on T.V. today and you said the worse thing for the country at this time would be to have an Election? What gives?



H - Never mind the country. I want a majority and the polls say the time is now. Those clowns in opposition don't know it but they are just about ready to provide it to me. All I have to do is trick them into voting non-confidence.



C - But why would they be so stupid to vote non-confidence if it means you will win a majority?



H - Because, to a man, they are all prima donnas. I will just continue to humilate each of them and sooner or later they will crack and vote against me.



H - Get my pollster on the line.


Ignatieff



I - For the first time in a long time, I am free of propping up that pompous ass Harper. Do you know how humilating it has been for me this past year?



C- I can only imagine.

I - Now Layton has to eat crow. Did you see him in the House today - I thought he was going to throw-up when he said he wanted to make Parliament work. It was the first for him.



C- Ya, he did look a little green around the gills.

I - I just hope Jack can hold his ground now and ward off the Election. You certainly cannot count on the Bloc.

C - But Michael, you were quoted today as saying you wanted an Election at the earliest possible time. That Harper was destroying the country and time was of the essence.


I - Well that's partly correct - Harper is destroying the country but we are in no shape to have an Election right now. We are still in debt and only a few of our ridings have nominated candidates. Plus don't you follow the polls? We are so far behind the Tories that it will take a miracle to catch up.


C- Ya, I see what you mean. Those are certainly good reasons why not.


I - But that's not even the main reason. So many of our members have not qualified for their life-long pensions. You know the one that takes 6 long years to get.


C - that doesn't seem too long Mike when you see Nortel workers of 30 + years losing their pensions.


I - They could have become MPs like me.



Layton:



J - I can't take it anymore - propping up that pompous ass and his band of knuckle draggers.



C- But Jack, it has only been a day - poor Ignatieff had to put up with it for over a year.


J - Well it just cannot go on. It is so unseemly.


C - Why don't you vote non-confidence then; I would think the Bloc would come along.


J - Of course they would come along; that's the problem.


C - So you really want Parliament to work, just like you said today in the House?

J - Of course I don't, - never have. It's just that we are so low in the polls; we have to look up to tie our shoes. If an Election was to be held, we would not have enough seats left to form party status.


C -So you are worried about no longer being effective?


J - No not that - we are never really all that effective - the problem is we would lose our research money - we'd be broke.


J - I've got to speak with Duceppe himself, - we cannot risk stumbling into voting non-confidence - there is just too much at stake.



Duceppe:



C - Bonjour Gilles, how'd travail go today? I saw you on the television today and heard you say that you would do everything you can for the nation.



D- Oui, Oui - must protect Quebec.



C - does that mean you will vote for an Election?


D - Of course not. I think I can free up billions from the Harperites for our homeland. It is a chance of a lifetime.


C - So Harper really does not want to have an Election?


D - Of course he wants an Election - he just has to pretend he doesn't and through his pretending, we can squeeze more and more out of Canada.


C - Now I am really confused Gilles. Harper really wants an Election but he is prepared for appearances sake to pay - I mean - seek your support of his Government as if he was opposed to an Election.

D - You got it.


C - You're so smart Gilles - you should be Prime Minister.


D- Mon Dieu.

----

On second thought, maybe we are all better off not knowing the truth.
As I see it.

"Galagher"